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gezin: hoeksteen of molensteen?

Het gezin: hoeksteen of molensteen?

Sinds de jaren 50 a 60 van de vorige eeuw zijn er heel veel cruciale dingen veranderd in hoe wij onszelf in deze maatschappij hebben georganiseerd. Van grote gezinnen en gemeenschappen binnen de verzuiling, zijn we naar kleine gezinnen als alleenstaande eilandjes gegaan.  En deze eilandjes kalven alleen nog maar verder af naar heel veel éénoudergezinnen en nog heel weinig “gemeenschapszin”.

Eén van de “bijwerkingen” van deze ontwikkeling is dat vaak één persoon, soms twee, de verantwoording draagt over meerdere mensen. Kwa gezondheid en belangrijke levenskeuzes. Voorheen waren er dus naast beide ouders ook nog betrokken grootouders, buren, tantes, kerkgemeenschap enz.

Als dus de ouders op sommige vlakken wat steken lieten vallen, en uiteraard doen alle ouders dat, niemand is perfect, dan waren er meestal wel andere volwassenen waar kinderen op konden terugvallen.  Nu is het zo dat als een kind emotioneel-psychische steun mist, er vaak niemand durft in te grijpen, of zelfs niemand het in de gaten heeft. Ja, als het zo ernstig wordt dat er echt sprake is van fysieke mishandeling of verwaarlozing, maar dan nog bellen we liever een instantie. “Bemoei je vooral niet met andermans kinderen en opvoeding” is de heersende gedachte. Ja, een mening hebben we vooral wel, maar echt inspringen, helpen, steun bieden?

Als kind ben je volledig afhankelijk van de volwassenen om je heen, fysiek en ook emotioneel. Daardoor is er sprake een volledige afhankelijkheidsrelatie en is het voor het kind belangrijk om die relatie goed te houden, om aandacht te krijgen, “leven-en-dood-belangrijk”, en steun te voelen. Als die steun/aandacht en zorg er niet is, dan zal het kind dus in de overlevingsstand schieten. Als er een andere volwassene in de buurt is,  die in dat gat schiet dat ouders laten vallen, dan kan dat heel veel trauma voorkomen. Nu dat niet meer gebeurt, is het voor kinderen pure noodzaak allerlei emotioneel-psychische “trucs” uit te halen om te overleven. Zoals bijvoorbeeld “pleasen en perfect”-zijn, of “onzichtbaar” worden, “negatieve aandacht” vragen, “fysieke klachten” ontwikkelen enz enz enz. Het overlevingsbrein is ongelooflijk creatief als het aankomt op emotioneel overleven.

Ingewikkeld wordt dit vooral als we volwassen worden, want ons overlevingsbrein blijft in deze “stand” doorfunctioneren. Het heeft nu eenmaal geleerd dat dit de manier is om “je niet te branden”.  En dat werkte inderdaad in die afhankelijkheidssituatie, zonder reddingsboeien van buiten. Maar nu, als volwassene die op eigen benen moet staan, wordt dat een molensteen om de nek.

We blijven zoeken naar oplossingen voor die pijn van dat gemis in onze jeugd. “Oplossingen” die echter dus alleen zinvol waren binnen die situatie in onze jeugd. We zoeken afleiding en troost in vele verslavingen, niet alleen de bekende alcohol, drugs, roken en gokken. Maar ook werkverslaving, succesverslaving, aandachtsverslaving, eetverslaving, “succes van mijn kinderen-verslaving”,  sex-verslaving, “zorgen-voor-anderen”-verslaving, enz enz enz. Allerlei creatieve technieken die functioneren als boost van buiten voor ons zelfvertrouwen of als doekje voor het bloeden. En zodra deze “middelen” wegvallen, volgt het diepe gat van pijn. En gaan we in paniek op zoek naar herstel van dat doekje, die afleiding.

Je realiseren dat je de pijn nu voelt, maar dat de pijn te maken heeft met een situatie die allang voorbij is, kan dan helpen. Je zal de pijn wel nog een tijd moeten dragen, maar het is oude pijn, de pijn van het kleine kind dat er zo alleen in stond, maar het alleen niet kon dragen. En er niets van snapte, niets van kon snappen, want niemand legde het uit. Een uitermate verwarrende wereld dus. Een gevoelig kind gaat dan ook nog eens de gevoelige antennes extreem ontwikkelen, in een poging er iets van te snappen. De anderen te snappen, op zoek naar veiligheid. En deze verwarring is dus verbonden aan overlevingsangst, dat maakt het zo heftig.

Je kan daar hulp bij zoeken, in de vorm van therapie, waarbij er echt heel veel verschillende methodes zijn. Dat is mooi, want dan kan je zelf kijken welke methode jou aanspreekt. Ik houd wel erg van minstens een combinatie met zelfhulp-tools, zoals EFT bijvoorbeeld. En je kan ook ondersteunen in de vorm van middelen uit de homeopathie en bach-remedies. Daarnaast is het niet onverstandig om wat te doen met supplementen, omdat het langdurig leven in de overlevingsstand, nogal wat disbalans veroorzaakt in je hormoon-vitamine- en mineralen huishouding.  Wat het alweer veel moeilijker maakt om je rust te vinden. En wat ook kan zorgen dat je veel onbegrepen fysieke klachten hebt.
 

Wil je echt vrij worden van deze oude mechanieken, dit oude patroon,  dat je gevangen houdt in afwisselend trauma en tijdelijke doekjes voor het bloeden, is het  meestal noodzakelijk al deze dingen tegelijk te gebruiken. Maar wel vanuit heel veel compassie en een milde blik naar jezelf,  de strenge zweep over je eigen rug is weer zo’n mechaniek vanuit oude patronen. Weten waar je heen wil, snappen wat er speelt, accepteren dat dit tijd nodig heeft, vertrouwen dat het kan, en steeds weer koers houden. Niet bang zijn hulp te vragen, koers mogen wijzigen of herstellen, en vooral je eigen pad te volgen.  Vaak moet er dan ook veel veranderen in het leven dat je leidt, bepaalde vriendschappen blijken niet gezond voor je, wellicht is je werkplek dat ook niet, moet je echt andere keuzes gaan maken. Maar dat wordt als je dit pad kiest vanzelf heel duidelijk, en dan zijn de keuzes vanzelfsprekend. Niet makkelijk, wel vanzelfsprekend.

Je bent pas vrij als je je hebt kunnen bevrijden van deze patronen die maken dat je dingen doet die je eigenlijk niet wil, blijft zitten op plekken waar je niet wil zijn, met mensen die niet goed voor je zijn, en je niet van langdurige gezondheidsproblemen af kan komen.

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Filo-Sophie

Vertrouwen

Een belangrijke onderliggende oorzaak van blokkade van ons zelfhelend vermogen is "angst". We verkeren voortdurend in een staat van vecht/vlucht of bevries, en in die staat wordt het immuunsysteem geblokkeerd. En het enige echte recept tegen angst is: "vertrouwen". Daarom is dat een absoluut 100% noodzakelijke voorwaarde voor heling: "vertrouwen". Niet vertrouwen in het pilletje, de dokter, je dieet of wat je dan ook allemaal doet om weer "beter" te worden...maar vertrouwen...als onderliggend diep gevoel...dat je niet "beter" hoeft te worden, omdat je al "goed" bent. Dat is dus niet hetzelfde als "hoop", bij hoop is het onderliggende gevoel nog steeds angst, dat tijdelijk wordt toegedekt door iets waar je je hoop in hebt gelegd...Veiligheid is trouwens wel belangrijk om dat vertrouwen weer terug te vinden, en dan is vertrouwen in je behandelaar/arts/therapeut ook noodzakelijk, en een arts/therapeut die ook vertrouwen in jou heeft, maar uiteindelijk komt het aan op jouw vertrouwen in het leven, ook als het zwaar is. Het is net als met dat verdriet, en die woede: niet vechten ertegen, niet evan af willen en proberen los te laten, maar toelaten, verwelkomen, omhelsen. Dat is vertrouwen. Vertrouwen is weten dat het goed komt, weten dat het goed is! Hoop is tja...hopen dat het goed komt, maar bang zijn van niet?

Vertrouwen versus angst.

Wanneer raakte jij de vanzelfsprekendheid kwijt? De vanzelfsprekendheid van je geboorterecht op liefde en licht en vreugde, de vanzelfsprekendheid van vertrouwen, vertrouwen in het leven?

Was dat toen je zag dat je moeder in paniek raakte, of was het toen je vader een ongecontroleerde driftbui kreeg, of misschien toen je op je hoofd werd geslagen in de zandbak door een ander kindje en je moeder zei: "laat maar joh, wees jij maar de wijste", of toen je viel en je moeder zei: "kusje erop, over" en het helemaal niet over was en je moeder daar niet van wilde horen, of misschien toen je lag te huilen in je bed en er niemand kwam om je te troosten, of toen je een vraag stelde aan je ouders en ze niet leken te luisteren en het wegwuifden, of wellicht toen je moest huilen om Bambi en je moeder moest lachen om jouw tranen....???

Of was het nog eerder? Was het al toen je lag te huilen in je wiegje en er niemand kwam, omdat je moeder had geleerd dat het een goed idee is een baby te laten huilen? Of nog eerder, toen je in de baarmoeder al bloot werd gesteld aan grote hoeveelheden stresshormoon door de angsten van je moeder over jou, haar zwangerschap, haar relatie, haar baan, het leven, omdat ook zij al van jongs af aan in een verkramping leeft.

En zo onstaat de verkramping, en geven we de verkramping door aan onze kinderen: de beleving dat je liefde moet verdienen, het idee dat jij gek bent en je je beter moet aanpassen, je verwarring over je emoties en hoe daarmee om te gaan, angst voor het leven en dat het nooit goed met je zal komen, of dat de liefde tijdelijk is en je alles weer kwijt zal raken...er is altijd wel iets om je angst op te projecteren...alsof we van ijsschots naar ijsschots hoppen...in plaats van dat we in vreugde ons pad gaan...genietend van het uitzicht, in het besef dat ook jij het licht en de liefde waard bent, ongeacht je prestaties, niet als beloning, maar gewoon, omdat je bent, leeft, bestaat!  

Hoe dit vertrouwen terug te vinden? Hoe lastig is dat? Als een trein die weer in de rails gehezen moet worden, en na jaren in angst een schijnbaar onmogelijke taak, omdat je inmiddels diep bent vastgelopen in de modder. Maar doorploeteren in die modder gaat nooit iets oplossen, eerst moet je weer terug in die rails van het vertrouwen. En net als met die trein is hulp daarbij wel heel erg fijn. Maar als je hulp zoekt,  moet dat wel iemand zijn die je absoluut vertrouwt, waar je je 100% veilig bij voelt. Dit is randvoorwaarde numero uno als je vanuit een chronisch zieke situatie terug wil naar gezondheid! Let daarop, altijd, waar je ook hulp vraagt, of het veilig voelt!

Waarom de reguliere benadering vaak niet werkt

Eén van de redenen dat westerse geneeskunde niet werkt, is omdat ze de klacht/diagnose in het centrum zetten en daar dan proberen één behandeling voor te vinden. Vanuit de gedachte: wat voor de één werkt met deze klachten, moet dus ook voor de ander werken....Helaas, de realiteit is anders. Omdat we moeten gaan denken met de mens in het centrum, niet de klacht! Iedereen is uniek, de klachten zijn ook nooit precies hetzelfde en wat bij de één heeft geholpen om te helen, hoeft bepaald niet noodzakelijkerwijs bij de ander ook te werken. Alleen, deze andere benadering,  dat is  wel individueel, tijdrovend en energie-vragend, en daar ga je al zeker niet rijk van worden. Vandaar dus, dat ze daar niet zo enthousiast van worden.